Professional Football

Every piece of clothing that you own
has someone's name and number shown
those jerseys that are meant for in your youth
are a symptom of your tragic lack of couth
it's bad enough you're dressing like a child
those tantrums when they lose are infantile

professional football is just a TV show
professional football, you're basking in the glow
professional football, we'll get 'em next year
that is, if we're still playing here

the jocks who pushed you down when you were young,
they still steal your lunch money, they're not dumb
you built the brand new stadium they'll play in
then they'll crank the ticket prices,
and you'll just keep on payin' 'em
they ought to put your name up on the wall
I'd guess you'd say your team has got some balls

the first thing that an athlete learns in school
is that athletes have a seperate set of rules
it doesn't matter what the witness saw
celebrities are all above the law
a nudge and a wink, and they ge the final laugh
guess what--the prosecuter wants an autograph!

they put it in your head when you're young
nothing's over 'till the final gun
you can become your heroes in your own back yard
always playing for at least a wild card
I had some more disdainful lines to write
but it'll have to wait 'till after Monday night